Tips for Processing Feedback (And Avoiding Mental Meltdowns)
by Joni B. Cole
Excerpted from Toxic Feedback: Helping Writers Survive and Thrive by Joni B. Cole. © 2006, University Press of New England, Lebanon, NH, pages 24-25. Reprinted with permission. For more information, contact the author at jonibethcole@gmail.com.
Processing feedback effectively means being receptive to hearing a variety of opinions, but filtering it all through your own writerly lens. What serves your intent? What rings true? What is your own inner voice telling you to do? Sometimes it can be hard to tune in to your own instincts after a feedback session, especially when the comments have been coming at you like the arrows flying at St. Sebastian. But just remember, you are the boss of your story.
Below are a few tips that will help you make the most of feedback every time your story is up for review, whether in a workshop or when working with an editor.
Be open:
You can’t begin to process feedback if you won’t let it in. I know how hard it is to curb the impulse to defend your work against every little criticism, but try. If it helps, write a note on your palm as a reminder—Hush up!—and refer to it whenever you hear yourself going on and on. In a workshop setting, some groups institute a “no talking” policy to prevent writers from interrupting the critique, but I feel that’s an extreme measure. Writers should feel free to ask questions or raise issues that inform the discussion.
Resist the urge to explain.
A teacher I know who works with both writers and actors once noted that if you tell a performer something didn’t work in his performance, he simply drops the line or fixes it. Whereas writers have a natural impulse to explain why they wrote something a certain way, or what they were trying to do in the piece. As writers, we need to resist the urge to explain because it gives feedback providers too much information, making it harder for them to separate what is really coming across on the page from what you have told them.
Little by little:
It is easy to get overwhelmed when processing feedback, especially if you try to take it in all at once. After a feedback session, sift through all the comments once, but then put them away and only worry about addressing one issue at a time. For example, if a reader has told you that your plot is slow and your main character seems shallow—forget about the plot issue for the time being and concentrate on character. Or focus on moving your story forward, and worry about character development in the next draft.
Ignore feedback until you are ready for it.
If you are on a roll with your writing, don’t let feedback stop you. Some writers avoid feedback until they have taken their work as far as they can on their own. This makes sense if hearing feedback too soon interferes with your own creative vision. But feedback can also serve you in the midst of a productive period. The value of hearing feedback, and then putting it in your mental lockbox as you push forward, is that this allows your unconscious to quietly process the outside information in a way that informs your writing in sync with your instincts—without slowing you down.
Try out the feedback.
Sometimes the only way to judge feedback is to play it out on the page where your own writerly instincts can react to it. For example, if a trusted reader is adamant that your first-person coming-of-age novel should be written in third person, try writing a couple chapters this way. See for yourself what you lose or gain. If several readers think that your main character isn’t likeable, write a scene inside or outside the story that shows your protagonist doing something endearing. Whether you ultimately use the scene or not, this is a great exercise in character development. No writing is a waste of effort.
Give yourself time.
If you are at a point in the revision process where you can’t tell whether you are making things better or worse, stop! Move away from the computer with your hands in the air, before you do any permanent damage. Take a break from writing, or start something brand new. It is remarkable how a good night’s sleep or a short period away from the manuscript can restore clarity, and help you process feedback in a way that leads to enlightenment.
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Joni B. Cole is the author of Toxic Feedback: Helping Writers Survive and Thrive. Her creative nonfiction has been nominated for a 2011 Pushcart Prize and has appeared in numerous literary publications. Joni teaches at writing conferences around the country and runs the Writer’s Center of White River Junction, VT. Learn more about her books and writing retreats: jonibcole.com, jonibethcole@gmail.com.